The Random Thoughts in My Head!

2much_thinking @ 2006-09-04T22:00:00

2006-09-05T02:12:07Z

music explanation:
chords in [] - pick with fingers in arpegiating fashion with bass as whole notes
C#m7 x46454
C#m7sus2 x46444
B 6x444x
Amaj7 x02120
E 022100

just talk to me

V1:
[C#m7]and you ask [C#m7sus2]me
[C#m7]what i wish [C#m7sus2] and
[B]i can't answer you
[C#m7]so you ask [C#m7sus2]me
[C#m7]can i see [C#m7sus2] but
[B]i know it isn't true

V2:
[C#m7]will you remember [C#m7sus2]
[C#m7]all i have to say [C#m7sus2] or
[B]just what you choose to believe
[C#m7]can you tell [C#m7sus2]me
[C#m7]these games we have to play [C#m7sus2]
[B]what do you hope to acheive

Chorus:
[Amaj7]i'm still waiting [E] are you gone away
[Amaj7]just talk to me [E] please
[Amaj7]i am sorry [E] is all have to say
[Amaj7]just answer me [E] please

V3:
[C#m7]i'm still waiting [C#m7sus2]
[C#m7]i'm still waiting [C#m7sus2]
[B]will you just talk to me please

09 04 2006

Non-ranting/non-bitching/non-whining about personal problems post - bet you are all glad huh?

2006-07-15T05:17:09Z

Only positive point of my life:

I revisited bash shell scripting today. Other than a 2 hour lunch, it took me all day to write a script and learn how to use the awk command.

My "team lead" suggested I do a robustness test of the program I've been working on. One of those is to execute it thousands of times and see what happens. I do 10 000 writes of "Test ####" to a different logical block addresses (LBA's) on the same physical disk, following by 10 000 reads and comparing each one to see if they match the writes.

Why writes and then reads instead of a write followed by a read? Good question, with an easy answer. The RAID controller card (HP's SA P800) would store the data values in cache and simply transfer from cache to the host driver. By writing 10 000 times, you are almost guaranteed to exceed cache and write to the damn disks, and then executing the reads afterwards ensures (next to moving the disks to another computer and trying to read them) that you have actually written to a disk.

This neat little shell script also keeps track of errors (SCSI errors from the commands sent and Errors from the code I ported) and prints out a summary of all the unsuccessful reads, writes, errors, and mismatches. It also prints the date (echo "Date: `date`") which includes the time, at the start and finish, so I know how long it took to perform the test. Of course all the data is written to both the screen and a text file. All the data meaning the summary data, the actual output (which is rather a lot for each command) from the code I modified goes to a file and overwrites itself, we don't need it, that's what the store_value=$(awk '/search item/ {i=i+1} END {print i} file_to_read' ) takes care of. That way I can retreive whatever I want from the output of the program I've been working on and do as I need to.

What will suck is come August I am sure they'll give me the task of updating the Win32 version of the code to have all the functionality, security, robustness, and features of the Linux version I've been working on. Won't that be just a hoot, with no source code whatsoever. Can you say binary-to-C-disassembler?

It is a lot of fun to be able to automate commands. What's next is to test the portion of the code that is supposed to read from .dat files and of course create the lovely hammer section. Shell scripts are slow, but a lovely special hammer section written within the application, talking directly to the driver can really pound on the bus. That's what I plan to do next week. Take out all of my frustration on the PCIe bus and the CCISS driver from HP. You ready for it? Are you? You'd better be, because I'm gonna ram data through your ioctls, into your virtual kernel buffers, through the PCIe bus, into the SA P800, and out to the 10 000 RPM SAS and SATA RAIDed drives.

So take that!

2much_thinking @ 2006-06-26T10:08:00

2006-06-26T14:19:01Z

This weekend I realized something about myself. No matter how hard I try to push the "I don't need anyone" mentality and no matter how hard I try to convince myself that being alone is just find, I will always feel the opposite.

I drives me nuts that I simply cannot turn it off. I spent the weekend with someone, a friend from class, just hanging out every day. After some time, I started missing how I felt when I was with someone. We were at Ikea shopping for a futon for her and other stuff. Each item that was useful we were discussing in terms of a future with an apartment. Of course my tones, stupid me, had "we" type connotations and such. Her's I am pretty sure did not, though they sounded like they did, and some times I am certain she did say it that way.

But yesterday, while assembling the furniture, I began to realize the differences and I noticed that most people think like she does, where as I do not. I have different opinions on things, some things which may be deeply rooted into people's personalities and moral systems. I am alomst certain my opinions are a definite contribution to the reason I am still single. Add to that my overly geekiness, desire to talk about techy stuff, always thinking (especially about engineering stuff), lack of muscle (I'll never be viewed as "hot", no matter what I do), my opinions on things (even when I don't know all the history behind them), etc... It's all just tolerable to friends, but definite proof of the reason I am single.

To me, shopping and having fun this weekend made me think "Wow, hmm, this could go somewhere, maybe friends do actually..." yeah, how retarded is that? Of course friends don't do that. Recall the dual ladder theory! It is as real as the smogg around Toronto.

When will I stop being foolish to myself, when after having a good time with someone, believing there's potential for something more? Why can't I just be blind and not see that shit at all? It would be so much easier. I now fully understand why most girls, in university, the dorm (SPUC), high school, always kept their distance from me but were very friendly around other guys. This is why. Because they are right, I probably would fall, if I was not already involved, for them and good God what a pain that would be for them, especially if they gave it a chance.

Well, the best part about me is I leave the door open, but never invite the person in, I leave it up to them to decide whether they want to take the chance or not. I realize why most don't and those that do, well other than the one I really messed things up with my giving my opinion in the form of 8 pages, don't bother talking to me.

Things would be so much better if I could just not feel lonely, and even better than that if when I am hanging out with a female I don't feel like "wow, this person could remove that void.." So very childish to think that way, that someone could remove the void, how old am I? 30, not 15.

The only solution is to perpare a tape that repeats "Shut the fuck up!" when I get like this, and then play more guitar, do more engineering projects at home, and avoid being alone with females, especially friends, and make that boundary five times its current size. That appears to be the only way.

a bed? :D and life planning (sorry, I'm a planner, that's what I do)

2006-05-28T05:06:14Z

Yes, I finally can move from the Coleman Thinsulate superslim sleeping bag that's really thin and basically let's you sleep coffin-style and if you turn, it twists around you, into a knot. And I can say goodbye to the 2cm by 40cm by 180cm air mattress I've been using as a "bed base" since May 4th. Yes, over 3 weeks sleeping on the floor and now no more.

I bought a queen size Coleman air mattress with a zipper-connected fibre filled cover piece that makes a really nice and thick bed (12.5 inches high actually). I went to Zellers to get the queen sized bed sheets and comforter. Finally I will sleep well at night, not that I was not doing too badly as I was before, but this should improve my sleep quality and then enable me to reduce the hours needed for sleep.

Next project, save for sound-proof dry wall so I can build a booth 3'by 3' by 6' so I can practise Bel Canto with my headphones (thank God I taped my lessons) and get my voice in shape. I never practised at SPUC so no wonder it took forever to get lifting the back of my throat and spreading my back upper teeth, taking the tension off of my throat. I can't wait to get that underway.

And of course practising guitar, working 8-6/7 each night, soon to be getting there by 630 so I can work out for 50 mins and then get cleaned up for work at work (they have a gym free to us and showers). Then I'll be set!

If I make the cut in September, I'll get full time and then I can save for a new mountain bike. I'd love a Rocky Mountain, as I would like to take it along some real trails and learn how to ride real cross country mountain biking (not interested in that insane downhill stuff). Plus my nerdy engineering projects on the weekends (designing my Xmas gifts), I should have my time filled.

Although I suppose I could get a life and a gf and whatnot, but since the latter is impossible, I'll stick with what I have planned.

Yup, I'm a total planner, nothing is written in stone, ever, I just like having some sort of game plan from which I can base things off of and adlib to along the way. Of course I have to be realistic about things, hence the above short/single sentence paragraph.

/* Back to main topic */
I can't wait to sleep in my "bed" tonight - woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pics of my trip

2006-05-24T14:21:37Z

Here's a link to the pics I took of my trip from Detroit to Vancouver.

http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2106102022

Let Love In - after much listening and my state of mind

2006-05-13T02:51:28Z

What can I say, it is softer, but there are some great power-pop songs. Plus they can still rock out the heavy older stuff at concerts.

I will say that I am stuck listening to Let Love In and Become over and over. They seem to have this hold on me and won't let go. There are so many lines in each song, like 75% or more, plus the overall message, the mood from the music and vocal notes (John's voice is awesome, makes me want to cry). I just can't let go of these two songs.

I keep thinking of stuff from my past and these songs, in some roundabout way, remind me, make me thing of things in a different light, plus the interlude to Let Love In (with this awesome palm mute but little distorted riffs) and the catchiness of the chorus... it just won't let me be free. I'm stuck in melancholoy and emotion, as my eyes burn with moisture.

It is very difficult to explain one's emotions and the reasons things affect us the way they do. I am not good at explaining things without spending time rehersing, and I can't do that with the inner emotions, especially since I can't figure out what the fuck is going on inside. It is just a mix of emotions and the only thing that helps sort/release/make worse at the same time is Let Love In and Become.

And the sad part, the concert is June 22nd, a nice memory jogger, and in Seattle, on a Thursday. I want to go so badly, the only thing that makes sense is to just swallow it all whole, what better way to do that then at the concert, where you are surrounded by the music and the feelings you experience when it grabs you. The band's presence helps amplifiy that of course. It is on a Thursday, at 7pm, so getting there via Greyhound ain't gonna happen without leaving work just after lunch, and I know that won't go over well. It is a busy place and people work hard, but they are great to work with as well, tough situation.

I hope they will come to Vancouver so I can experience them live, like I did for Dizzy Up The Girl and Gutterflower. And most of all to see if that will help me sort out this ridiculous emotional tie somehow surrounding those two songs, but the core issue is something from my past.

If only I could write something that took all of my emotions and I could put it into the lyrics, vocal notes, chord voicings and progressions, and overall emotion of the song.

"And you're the only one I ever believed in, the answer that could never be found, the moment you decided to let love in. And now I'm banging on the door of an Angel, the end of fear is where we begin, the moment we decided to let love in."

2much_thinking @ 2006-05-06T13:48:00

2006-05-06T17:46:23Z

/* Day 6 */

We tourned Seattle some more, including seeing some expesnsive piano places and driving around the outskirts. We did not stop at Micro$oft.

The trip to Vancouver was rather long, traffic was a pain once we arrived in Vancouver. But finally we made it to our respective places of living. My roommies are really cool and quite diverse. We have an exchange student from France, two SFU students, and a full time dude who works for Fido.

The place is quite nice and I have all of my boxes acting as shelves for my clothes and books. I have a table for a desk, which leaves me with plenty of room for my desktop. A bed? Nope. I sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag, the carpeting has at least 2cm of padding under it so it is really soft.

I'm in a very nice area, a nice bike ride to work, or a very short drive, or one very long walk. And work has a gym which is awesome, as I need to lose weight and get some muscle on this body, or I'll truly be single forever.

I do have the net, but it is via a wireless USB device, and it is such a pain to try to get this to work with Linux, so I am stuck with Win2k until I figure out how to get Linux to see the device (it sees it as a USB device but wlan and anth (whatever anth is) can't see it. I think I have to figure out how to do this wrapper thing ndiswrapper and install windows drivers, unless I can somehow find linux drivers on the Dlink website. Times like these make me wish Magic and Tony were not so far away).

Well that's my trip. I am not sure where I can unload all the pictures as I will be losing my engmail account shortly.

My contact info:
Robert Russell
7325 Endor Cres
Burnaby BC
V5A 3K1
cell: (613) 769-1547

BC trip - Day 2, 3, 4, 5

2006-05-06T17:44:54Z

/* Day 2 */

Cleaned up and showered and prepped for our long drive to St Paul. I am going to be driving today, after we get out of Chicago, this should be interesting. I'm not the best at driving standard transmissions.

So we drove into Minneapolis, Minnosota, and found a motel right next to the Mall of America. The motel was the Courtyard. It was nice, free internet and continental breakfast. A late dinner at TGIF and then sleep.

/* Day 3 */

Showered up and packed up the car, walked through the Mall of America, just a large mall surrounding a mini-amusement park. There were two rollercoasters, only one was in operation so we took it for a spin, not bed but rather expensive for one ride ($ 4.80).

We drove to Darwin, home of the World's Largest Ball of Twine, which was rather interesting. They don't add to it like I thought they did. The Country Saloon was an excellent place for lunch, hamburgers they were and good too.

Now the drive, into North Dakota, stopping in Bismark for gas and a few other places, we plowed through the state, hoping to make it

We did, at the wee hours of the morning, then slept at a cheap motel 6 ($42 US a night for two people). The next day....

/* Day 4 */

Now we're in Montana, we get up and drive along to Billings and decide to head south to Yellowstone National Park, taking a great road that runs along Beartooth Pass, 11 000ft above sea level. The road was closed, too early to open it, so we attempted to drive to the souther part to see Old Faithful, but that turned to be closed as well, the only entrance was from the north-west corner. Oh well. We drove back (4 hours later) arriving at Billings and drive along to Missula.

On the way we stopped in Livingston Montana for a lovely dinner at Clark Crossing. Very quaint little mountain town Livingston was, as were many such as Cody Wyoming (southern part of Yellowstone).

We arrived fairly late in Missula and found another Motel 6. Got up this morning, visited Starbucks and started Day 5. Of course I forgot to mention the INSANE number of casinos, yeah like a town of 30 000 has about 10 Casinos, some really dive-bar like, we never went in of course, but still. I think Montana is attempting to rival Nevada, by numbers only ha ha.

/* Day 5 */

Here we drive to Seattle, through the Rocky Mountains, through Snoqualime or something like that, some 3000ft above sea level and gorgeous pictures.

The basin was next, inbetween the ranges, and man was that boring, it was like North Dakota, boring as shit. Finally we hit more mountains and they were gorgeous and breathtaking. Seattle is right at the bottom of them. And what a hilly town this is, the friggin streets have an 18% grade (18 degree angle) which is NUTS.

We just finished dinner at an amazing Italian restaurant, Assaggio, really Italian and really really good. The food was just amazing.

Not sure what to do now, as Rodney and Graeme and a few people Kevin knows are here but we do not have their MSN or any way of contacting them. So here we sit in the motel wondering what to do in Seattle.

Tomorrow we do more touring and then head to Vancouver.

in BC - summary of my trip - DAY1

2006-05-06T17:43:22Z

/** Off Topic Warning **/
April 25, 2006, Let Love In by the Goo Goo Dolls was released. I picked up the CD and spun it right away. It is much softer than previous albums, but very good songwriting. My fav's are I'll Stay With You, Let Love In, and the cover of Give A Little Bit.

It's a good album, despite being soft for the Goo, but I guess they are following some sort of trend to the softer stuff, thus losing their older audience who love the indie-punkish sound they had in the late '80's and mid-early 90's.

And for my own preference, Give a Little Bit and Better Days are the only two songs where John's voice sounds a little rough and less than his normal great tone. The rest of the album's vocals are great.
/** END OF OFF TOPIC PART **/

/* Day 1 */
Awake at 0730, cleaned up, packed the vehicle, crossed at the bridge, was asked detailed questions about our jobs to ensure we were not looking for work in the USA, hopped on I-75 South, to Toledo Ohio, then I-80/90 across Indianna, stopping at Woodwind Brasswind the World's Largest Music Store where I fell in love with an amazing Taylor custom acoustic guitar (suggested retail $7329, listed retail $5499, US of course)

Kevin continued to drive into Chicago. We found almost every toll route possible, I spent over $15 on tolls just getting to Chicago.

Once in Chicago we parked the car at the Congress Hotel and walked to the Sears Tower, of course the observation deck, lots of photos, then we walked along the water on Wacker street and then to Michigan Ave, snapping photos of the brilliant architecture. Continuing along Michigan we stopped back at the hotel, fell asleep for an hour and a bit, then left to find a real Chicago pizza place. Turns out we were on the south side to Gino's was out, but Exchequer was close by and they were voted Best Pizza Place in Chicago by the Chicago Tribune and Siskel and Eebert.

Were they right? Hell yeah. We split a dozen chicken wings while waiting for the pizza. I asked for "hot as hell" and they came with some extra hot sauce. It was warm at best, even with the hot sauce it upgraded to a mild. But they were full of meat and the sauce they were covered in ( "spicy" ) was incredibly good. We also tried Goose Island something or other ale. It was actually pretty good and gave me hope for USA and their beer problem.

The pizza, yes the pizza, was... to die for. It was SO good. I've had great pizza in Windsor at some local non-chain shops and it was great, but this was soooo much better. (NOTE: I have heard from people from Toronto and all over and many people that Windsor has the best pizza in Ontario, I guess I just assumed pizza there was the standard everywhere. I have not really eaten any pizza elsewhere except in Chicago, that was from a real restuarant and not a chain I mean). The cheese, the tomatos, the sause, WOW. We ordered a large meat lovers and I could only eat 1.5 slices. So guess what is for Day 2's breakfast!

The room, well, they are cheap at the Congress. I mean the lobby looks beautiful, but the rooms were small, old, internet was $9.95 for 24 hour period (so we said screw it and didn't bother), they charge $1.25 for the first 15 minutes on a FREE long distance call (800, 888, etc...) and then 15c each additional minute. That's right, they charge for what is supposed to be free calls. They also charge for local calls, how's $3.25 sound? Yeah, plus the usual extra after x-minutes. Our view? Well, how's a nice concrete wall sound? Yup, we both have pictures to prove it. The cost for this wonderful place *NOT* is $200 Canadian a night.

The best part about Chicago, is the blues. We took a subway to the North part and went to Kingston Mines, a blues bar. We saw Mem Shannon and I shook his hand. He's phenominal. I have their latest CD now. The bar had at least 200 people on the one side and there were two sides. Bands go up for 1 hour sets, starting at 2130 and ending at 0430. We left just after 0100 and took a taxi back to the hotel (advised by the kind guy at the pizza place not to take the Red Line Subway after midnight).

I've been snapping photos on my digital camera and I will post them online or put them as email attachments somehow when I figure out how to do it.

I am writing this after a decent sleep (despite Kevin's snoring, which I counteracted with some ear plugs I picked up from DC from at UW. Our task today is to drive to St Paul Minosota (SP?) and hopefully find the net and a cheap motel. Day 3 is the scheduled visit to Mall of America, two story outhouse and World's largest ball of twine.

My Future

2006-04-13T23:06:47Z

Well it is official. I accepted an agreement with PMC-Sierra for a four month work term and if they like me and I like them, I will be brought on full time. The position is a firmware designer for the data storage group. PMC-Sierra makes chips: microcontrollers, networking chips, data storage chips, etc... and lots of cool hardware stuff. I will be writing code that goes with the chips to set them up during power up and for interfacing with them.

The position is at the Burnaby, BC, office. I am very excited because I have never been to BC. In fact the furthest west I have been is Sudbury, ON.

Kevin J and myself will be driving out there, taking the US route, see mapquest or googlemaps. I am very excited as I am giving up an East Coast trip with classmates, so this West Coast trip will be my vacation. Kevin is teaching me how to drive a standard transmission vehicle, his Honda Civic, so he does not have to drive the entire way.

My car? Well, that's still in the works. I won't be bringing my car with me, that's for sure. I am confident The Smurf would try hard, but she just won't make the trip. I am not risking it. So I could sell it to someone (costly, as I will have to get it saftied and transfer ownership) or I could donate it to a fire department or high school for people to use for training. The latter sounds better, plus it is usually a huge tax right off for a charitable donation. Don't worry, I have a Sony Sports Walkman so my Bon Jovi tape that has lived in my car for years will not go to waste.

Sell her for parts? I just could not do that. It would be like taking your do down that long hallway to be euthanized. That is something I just cannot do. I'd be crying like a teething baby.

For now, I plan to finish exams, spend time with the family, pack what I can bring in the car, and ship the rest via a moving company van line thingy.

I hope to find a Bel Canto teacher out in the Vancouver area. I really like that style of vocal instruction and I love how just a few short months (with no practising :( ) I have improved. Once I am working, I will have evenings free for guitar and voice (hopefully my roommates can tolerate it) and also working out in the morning before work. I need to whip this body into something desireable by the opposite sex, or at least resemble something of a man.

What a short five years! When I look back, it was only yesterday Kevin was teaching me how to drive standard in his Honda Civic. Wait.... that was yesterday... Okay, anyhow, it has been a great experience. I know for sure, as I have always believed, that leaving my job after 3.3 years and going back to school full time, starting life over, a second chance if you will, was the best decision I have made yet. It has not been easy and it has been a total learning experience, both inside and outside of the classroom. And now it is time to again join the workforce, but hopefully things will be different, as I know I sure as hell am different!

.. that's just some boring crap about me, my future, and my current thoughts about my UW experinece. if you read this far you must be really, really bored.

UPDATE on Finchy

2006-04-06T22:31:03Z

Turns out Finchy is female and some sort of Waxwing/WaxBill finch. They checked Finchy and there were no problems, so they figure she must have flown into a window and was a little dazed. So they gave Finchy some steroids and Finchy, that clever girl, slipped through the cage and was flying around the hospital. They opened the door and she flew out up into a tree.

So Finchy is ay-okay and out in the wild again.

Hoorray for Finchy and the kind hearted people at Beechmount Animal Hospital.

A flying day

2006-04-06T20:11:39Z

Today I wrote an exam, Networks and Security (ECE428) and I was finished an hour early, so I took my time and looked things over, added a little something here and there, then left with 45 mins left to write. I was feeling very good when I left.

On my way home, walking through St Jerome's I came across a bird on the side of the path in the SJU courtyard. I think it was a finch like bird (avian_lady was not around to tell me the exact bird), but it was sitting on the ground, off to the side fo the path, breathing very heavily, with its face in the ground. I went home, feeling sorry for the bird, made up a box with duct tape and a few old shirts. Caitlin came along with me and we found someone had moved the bird to a tree. That seemed silly, clearly the bird was injured. Both Caitlin and I put the bird in the box, with a tshirt for a bed, and brought the bird to Beechmount animal hospital. The bird was partly able to fly but didn't really struggle much, so clearly he'she is weak.

The nurses took Finchy (a name I just made up, inspired by American Pie) and said they would call with news of what is wrong and what they can/cannot do. I hope poor Finchy will be okay. But I felt really good not walking away or leaving Finchy in the tree, but instead getting Finchy the help he/she needs.

I also picked up a Thank-you card and some Lindor chocolates for the very kind nurses at Beechmount Animal Hospital.

I will post any updates on Finchy as soon as I find out from the Vet.

news - justin berry - ran his own child porn site

2006-04-05T07:57:39Z

In the news, just research his name, this young dude, 19, went up to congress/something hill in the US (yeah I know I don't know the details of where he went) plus Larry King Live and told of his story.

At 13 he started showing his body with his webcam to pedophiles and was paid for it via Paypal. He ran his own website, moved to Mexico with his father, who helped make him very rich, and did some pretty awful things for money. All while being a teen, in the most crucial years for forming the foundations of adulthood.

The one thing that seems off about this guy is his demeaner. In the statements he made to the Senate or whatever it is called and on Larry King Live, he seemed to read out and answer exactly what a typical psychologist would say and what FBI agents would tell him. He went on about having to stop it and how things he did he's not proud of and he's seeking therapy. All these things could be believed to be sincere if he were sincere in his delivery. His facial expressions, in particular eyebrows and mouth, while he answered certain questions seemed not only rehearsed but almost meaningless. He did not give the impression he was traumitized by the event. He acted like a politician giving a typical political answer, not a child who realized what was happening was wrong.

The words he says make absolute sense and give him impression of someone brave and nobel for realizing he was exploited and helping with investigators, but his manerisms and actions, especially during key statements, say something quite different. Almost like he is in therapy because his mom wants him to be, but he does not feel he needs it. He's cooperating because he knows what he did was wrong, he has immunity, he's spilling the beans on his clients, and cleaning up his act. And yet it just seems off.

Of course he's not allowed to answer any such questions as his lawyer was right there. But something just seems off about this kid. He did these things NOT against his will but for money. But would you not be more sincere and more traumatized if you realized what you were doing was actually wrong? Would you not be more sincere if you felt it was a real issue and you really felt you needed therapy? Yeah, I think you would. The NYTimes writer, Kurt something Dutch-like, sounded very sincere and had emotion.

Perhaps Justin was on medication of some sort, but his facial expressions, tone of voice and overall body language do not fit someone who has been traumatized and exploited. He explained he had spent a few tough months crying a lot. It takes people years to get over this, even if they were a willing participant. There are people whom were involved in things and decades later, after therapy and having dealt with it with professional assistance, who give a far more convincing display of emotional trauma then this young man did. He was acting way too professional and it lost some appeal for me.

Has anyone else found this guy to be just a little off? Does anyone find his behaviour a little out of sync with his words?
/* Please avoid displaying excessive emotion if you have not seen the testimony or at least Larry King Live episode, you need to see his manerisms to understand what I am saying */

iPod

2006-03-22T07:05:13Z

Well my iPod Shuffle arrived and I was excited as all hell so I connected her up to my PC's USB port. Of course there's a CD with s/w for Mac or Windows. I run Linux. SO I searched my distro and found a lovely command line version. I loaded my tunes while the battery charged, went to my assinine class schedule on this freaky Monday (1630-2200 NONSTOP).

I get home and I am just amazed. After going for coffee and a fun drive around with Sean, Lloyed, Jason and Tammy, I get to play with my iPod. I mean, there are no spinning discs and no cassettes with incorrect alignment gives a permanent vibrato to all music. And I need not worry about bumping and skipping or messing up the vibrato-ish alignment to be worse. Nope! It is this cute little device playing SRV by Eric Johnson and it sounds flippin' great! Man, this just kicks butt!

I love technology but I love it more when I can afford (which I can't but whatever, yes I am actually accepting my debt and acknowledging that I still have to live) it and actually be able to enjoy it!

.. oh Eric is doing this amazing solo, damn I love that lick.

Oh well, time for bed.

/* This has been a pointless entry about nothing, sorry if you were looking for something of any intellectual stimulation. But hey, at least I am not ranting about something I know little about and acting with total emotion and no brains like most of my posts! */

The modern world, is it really for me?

2006-03-16T20:34:48Z

My music is my life! I listen to it all the time and I love it.

Portable music for me has been available through my Sony Sports Walkman, model WM-AF54. I've had a few of them, one of the same model and one of the older models. I also own one of the original Sony Discman's. Yes, it is one of the first to come out on the market. Due to an unfortunate misunderstanding in battery connections, back in grade 12, my Discman does not work with batteries anymore, only the AC adapter.

So, today, I went to Apple's website and purchased an iPod Shuffle, 1GB. I have no idea how I can load music to it at this point, but who cares, 1->3 + 3->6 days it should be here, so that could be 4->9 days. The toughest part of upgrading my musical mobility was choosing an appropriate engraving. Here's my final decision (order has been placed so there's no going back now):

526F622773 69506F64 53687566666C65

Yup, hexadecimal form of ASCII for "Rob's iPod Shuffle" I am truly a geek at heart!

never knew this before

2006-03-04T14:22:49Z

open up a web browser

shift + mouse scroll (wheel) up = forward a page
shift + mouse scroll (wheel) down = back a page
ctrl + scroll up = make text smaller
ctrl + scroll down = make text bigger

neat stuff!

blowing off steam

2006-03-01T18:16:35Z

What the hell? It is 4B and I've never felt burned out before. It is like I have no energy and no mental capacity left.

I've barely passed my midterms if at all.

Too much socializing and non-working time? Yeah, I guess I should have avoided social interaction like I used to and spent more time with my head in the books. I've put the usual effort in, but it just seems like that's not enough this term, or I don't have the intellectual ability to absorb at the ridiculous rate as I have in previous terms.

Frankly, this is dragging me down and that's not helping my midterm confidence. Come March 6th I will have spent 5 weeks in Midterms. Each week I am cramming, learning the entire course to date, forgoing homework and assignments in all other courses. Each week is a mad rush to cram as much into my head as possible and then the midterm arrives and I make stupid mistakes that kill me or I can't recall squat.

It IS possible to fail in 4B and have to repeat it, despite what my fellow classmates think. I cannot let this happen. It is going to take a miricle to survive, get well above 60% in all my courses (which means at least high 70's on the finals), and actually learn something this term.

I just pulled an allnighter and nothing is working out; calculations that last 5 pages have errors somewhere, the simulations in PSpice are not working, the calculations I put into the spreadsheet (not Excel, Star Office) are not producing the expected graphs (letting me know the equations I spent 5 pages on are worthless), etc... This fucking sucks!

Just needed to rant before I ramp it up! I have to really PUSH now, harder than I have ever done. I canNOT do poorly on the finals, I will be reviewing and reading and reviewing new and old at the same time.

No more social life pour moi!

Useless Scientific Information

2006-02-16T18:50:15Z

http://news.yahoo.com/s/cpress/20060215/ca_pr_on_sc/saturn_storm

This would be kick-ass to be a part of, in terms of gathering information. I can't wait to see what they learn about this storm.

No Larry! :(

2006-02-16T15:05:47Z

UW closed today because of bad weather. What the hell?!! How can some flakes of snow, a little rain, and some cold wind be construed as bad weather? We've dealt with worse before. This is tragic.

I wrote a midterm Tuesday and forgot my notes for Econ 102 with Larry Smith. I was upset, but I figured I'd skip Thursday's tutorials and show up at the Thursday Night Econ 102 with Larry Smith lecture. NOW THE DAMN CLASS IS CANCELLED! What is going wrong with the world?!!

No Larry this week, no Larry next week.

Please, somebody hold me :(

My Friday Night (even thouth I turn 30 Jan 28)

2006-01-28T06:16:39Z

I am officially 30 at 1800 (6pm) tonight Jan 28 2006, yes I was born at 6pm Jan 28 1976.

I am drunk right now. Which means typing is a bitch. Jason, Lloyd, Andy, Kevin, Taryn, Lynn and I went to Brubakers. When I got there I noticed something, there were about 15 of my classmates there. Totally unexpected. I was shocked. I was really surprised. And most of all I was touched because I was with friends from class and friends from school at the same time. It was unbelieveable. We ate dinner and they fed me lots of drinks, of course I had shots, beer, mixed drinks. So yeah when we left Brubakers we went to Roxannes (in the new location of someplace which I have no clue as to where it is, sober or drunk) and I had not one but two separate lap dances. Yeah the first one was two girls at once, the second was a single girl and damn dudes/dudettes that was awesome.

So sure enough the drinking caught up with me and I went to the washroom. I told Lloyd when I came back to get the car and get bags ready. I felt queesy, so I went back to the washroom, did what I needed to do, felt a lot better. Gave so many hugs to people while using the car to support me standing up, and I said goodnight to them.

I was SOOO happy and surprised and tocuheched deep in my heart because I guess I didnt' think I mattered that much but these people all showed up, and they showed they cared.

Gifts? Oh yeah, I got some great ones. I got Condoms, a butt-plug for Undergraduate from Engineering, it was classic, the container had all kinds of information and made is sound serious. I also, from classmates, received gift certificates to HMV, received a Campus Crew sweatshirt so I can throw away my old one (which has a lot of rips in it and has been mind since probably 1994 at the latest, meaning it is probably older. Then they bought me a really awsome rugby style shirt and a flipping awesome Tshirt, which contains a logo I cannot remember. I was so touched by their generosity that I felt compelled to give out hugs. I just could not believe they did that for me. I was so touched, I just can't explain it any other way.

They really cared and they really like me. It is such a surprise and such a change from my previous live in Windsor where I felt most tolerated me at best, the rest would simply ignore me.

I wish to thank EVERYONE for a great birthday! All of you who came out or even just wished a Happy Birthday made my 30th great. Thanks to all of you!!!!! I tend to forget a great quote from a very old movie, It's a Wonderful Life, "No man is a failure if he has friends" or something like that. I try so hard, and yes I know I fuck up a lot and say a lot of wrong things and do a lot of wrong things, but I try so hard to be the best friend I can be to so many people. I try to give them all of me. I put my life on hold because their's matters more in my view. That's how I run things in my life.

Anyhow, I wish to thank all whom I have met for they too have had an impact on my life. Thanks to wonderful people for being so important and helping become a better person!

I really can't seem to focus on anything tonight, A.D.D is worse than ever :P so I'll just end this with a Good Night to all and a very heart felt Thank you!!!!!!

Sincerely,

Robert

Canada - US relations

2006-01-27T15:27:51Z

Read this
http://news.yahoo.com/s/cpress/20060127/ca_pr_on_na/not_so_conservative

Some punter likes to stir up trouble. I love how these people who don't even visit Canada can claim to know what is going on here and make such bold statements about our country.

Has this been going on for years? Am I just learning about some in the US bashing Canada or is this new?

If it is new, it is not a good sign. I have never heard of this type of slander before. I think the US media must be pumping the people full of garbage about Canada. So what if we don't agree with the Iraq Attack and we don't want Star Wars II: The Americas Strike Back.

I hope this is just some punter flapping away about nothing, because if the majority of the American public actually agree with that guy, then they are really really out of touch with reality.

Plus there's a bit of a tiff in Ottawa because Harper wants to defend our northern waters, and the US is like "But that's ours" which of course it isn't but they like to treat it like they own it, traveling through without notifying us. Some say no one takes Canada's claim to those waters seriously, then maybe harper is right to want to build up defense up there.

And to the Toronto critic who says it is not practical as most who go up there are our allies, yeah? You sure of that? You 100% sure that the US would not stage an attack against Canada? BULLSHIT, they would if they knew they could get away with it. Damn right they would! They want our wood, wheat, water, rocks, minerals, etc... and beer. Nothing would fullfill their Manifest Destiny dreams better than taking over Canada and Mexico. They'd have an entire continent to themselves. Unfortunately, they NEED to trade externally. Smooth and Holly proved that back in the 1920's when the engaged in massive tarriffs in hopes of reducing imports, so did the rest of the world and WHAM the Great Depression.

Okay, enough ranting.

IMPORTANT -- GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY

2006-01-26T22:05:16Z

I just received this email:

Free tickets for you & a guest to be seen on VH1's exclusive Super Bowl
event featuring a live performance by the Goo Goo Dolls.

LOCATION: Downtown Detroit,
DATE: THURSDAY 2/2
CHECK IN TIME: 5:45PM (ENDS AT 11PM)
DRESS: casual (no white shirts, no logos.dress nice!)

(DOORS OPEN AT 7PM, TICKETS GIVEN AWAY ON A 1ST COME,
1ST SERVE BASIS. CHECK IN IS EARLY DUE TO SECURITY)
MUST BE AT LEAST 18 TO 30 YEARS OF AGE.
MUST BE ABLE TO GET TO SHOW ON YOUR OWN
Must stay for entire event until 11pm

I have the means to get the tickets included in my email. Who would like to go to this event??? Anyone?

Email me at satchboogieca@yahoo.ca with the subject Goo Bowl if you are interested! Let me know ASAP, by tonight perferably, as I really want the chance to go.

~Robert

IMPORTANT -- April 6, 2006 -- write it down in your calenders!

2006-01-22T22:49:51Z

Let Love In, newest album from the Goo Goo Dolls, will be on the street April 6, 2006.

That is going to be a VERY great day!! Plus the new album's release date means the tour should be in the summer/fall. Wahoo!!!!! This will be the third time I've seen the band.

Time 1:
Summer 1999, Pine Knob (now DTE) Michigan, Dizzy Up The Girl tour

Time 2:
Fall 2002, Massey Hall Toronto, Gutterflower tour

Time 3:
? 2006, ?, Let Love In tour.

Wahoo!!!!!

Fourth Year Design Project

2006-01-17T23:52:12Z

As some of you may know, I am in 4B electrical engineering and with that comes a Fourth Year Design Project.

Our project will be on display in DC in front of the DC Library, from 0830 until 2030 on Wednesday Jan 18, 2006. We are in front of the library actually, some are scattered all around the area, both sides of the Fish Bowl.

Our seminar, which I am NOT participating in, is at 1030 in room 1302. Our project is an LED light bulb replacement. Do LED light bulbs exist? Yes, but not like ours. The ones that do exist are $30-$40 a piece, display only one colour, have low intensity, are not dimable, and although come in white but the spectrum is pretty bad.

The scope for us was to design an LED cluster that could emitt with the intensity of a 40W incandescent light bulb , use approximately 20W of power, be dimable, and match the electromagnetic spectrum of a 40W incandescent, with hopes of matching true sunlight. The design was to fit into a standard 6" potlamp.

From a reliability point of view, incandescents last 1500 hours, spiral flourescents (none are dimable) last 6000 hours. Our LED's last 25 000 to 100 000 hours if properly cooled.

Did we meet our specs? Is it affordable? How does it look? You'll have to swing by DC and find out.

I rebuilt the prototype as the old one from August was hideous to look at and didn't properly cool the LED's. The new one looks much better, is larger but there's a heavy duty transformer in there, so what do you expect? It also runs a lot cooler.

You might want to consider bringing sun glasses if you plan on seeing it in operation. I'll have mine, with my long hair slicked back like Al Pacino, my "beard" shaved off completely, and my black suit!

So come by and check out what we Engineers do for fun (besides complain about the work load and drink and wish we had a life and...).

really funny

2006-01-10T03:33:50Z

/* check these out */
Tramps just want to have fun:
http://www.jokaroo.com/ecards/funny/trampswannahavefun.html

Numa Numa (really good, they got the facial expressions down):
http://www.jokaroo.com/ecards/funny/numaamericanidol.html

Celebrity Idol:
http://www.jokaroo.com/ecards/funny/celebrityidol.html

There's more here:
http://www.jokaroo.com/ecards/funny/